Welcome kids to my new blog. It's simple, to the point, and it'll give you something new to look forward to on Sundays. It's called Ten Things I Learned this Week. So, without further ado....
1. An entire night with a high school senior as my intern showed me that even ten years later I still have nothing to say to high school girls.
2. According to a new pop hit bouncing about the airwaves, the new definition of love is giving your special someone their very own ringtone. Oh how I long for the day when I can look forward to Don't Cha blaring from my cell.
3. OCD + RPG = Where the fuck did my weekend go?
4. If you sleep by candlelight, plan on hacking some black in the morning.
5. How long do you wait to call a girl who just got out of a lengthy relationship? I didn't learn the answer to that question, but the fact that she has a new boyfriend is probably a sign I waited too long.
6. There is no answer to the question "What is news?"
7. It's possible to be pissed at a friend for doing what is in their best interest (it's only cause I miss you already Jas).
8. I need to find a sweet girl posthaste. Lonely Phil = Phil on the verge of doing something stupid.
9. Having over 1000 clips to sort through will drive you to homicide when you can't find the ONE CLIP that you need to finish the opening credits of the greatest home video of all time.
10. The Chicago Cubs are the closest I will ever come to a religion, which just proves my point that religion at its core is a completely irrational enterprise.
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