1. "That's gonna leave a mark" stopped being funny around 1991.
2. If anybody gives birth in my new house, their child will be able to answer "Yes" to the question "Were you born in a barn?"
3. Kit Kat Bites are the first candy I have eaten to the point of illness since the infamous International Media Systems/Starburst Jelly Bean incident of Final Week 2001.
4. Though I'm not a fan of concerts, I find it very cool that my parents went to see Eric Clapton at The Mark.
5. One of the worst things about poor leadership is the inability to recognize just how hard everyone around is working to make up for their "superior's" shortcomings.
6. If my behavior with my new puppy, Buzz, is any indication of my behavior with my children, my kids will spend much of their time sleeping in a cage.
7. Sometimes a puppy just needs a good snuggle. Other times he needs to bite your nose.
8. Puppy teeth hurt more than grown-up dog teeth.
9. Buzz is a humper. Just like his uncle.
10. Live fantasy baseball drafts are tremendous, until the next morning when the buzz wears off and you wonder what the hell you were doing picking Chone Figgins in the ninth round (I didn't really do that).
11. Buzz is part Tigger. He bounces everywhere.
12. Going to the driving range last week was absolutely pointless thanks to this godforsaken weather.
13. Something that never gets old: raking a zombie's head off with a scythe. God bless the sick minds who came up with Dead Rising.
14. A five pound creature can still completely dominate your sleeping arrangments in a queen size bed.
15. The amount of facial hair I have correlates directly with my self-esteem from day-to-day.
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