Sunday, April 29, 2007

Ten Things I Learned the Week of April 29 - May 5

1. I'm sorry Barbaro's dead. Not because I give a shit about a horse, but because there are over 3,000 US Soldiers who didn't get near as many prayers and prime time specials after they died.

2. I resent people who watch either Deal or No Deal or The Real Wedding Crashers. The success of these shows and shows like them are the reason why the best television program I've ever seen -- Friday Night Lights -- may not get a second season.

3. May sweeps is where we in television make our money. It's also the month where we put on some of our worst television of the year.

4. Insurance companies hate me.

5. Sometimes the world is going to crumble around you, and you're going to have to watch and take the blame.

6. I am very attracted to girls with deep voices. And this concerns me.

7. It's impossible not to feel like an Adonis when you hit a golf ball farther than a driving range's outer limits (which is 300+ at Highland Springs).

8. Work has made me fat again. Too many stops at gas stations in the middle of nowhere when my lunch is in the fridge back at the station.

9. Wal-Mart is a scary place. Seriously. I'm not fucking around. There's going to be a horror movie made there one of these days where the hillbillies roaming the aisles start killing the innocent middle class folk who had to stop in to get some golf balls (or something).

10. I have moved past impatient into the realm of pissy when it comes to waiting to get into my new house. However, the fact that they've taken down the For Sale sign from the front yard heartens me a little bit.

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