Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Ten Things I Learned the Week of April 22 - April 28

1. Long distance relationships are bullshit. You can't develop anything remotely substantial when you don't spend enough time together to piss each other off.

2. When the wind blows through the trees in my backyard it sounds like the "monster" from Lost.

3. I understand eating disorders now. After spending a flu-ruined day alternating between sitting on the toilet and bending over it, I lost six and a half pounds. If it weren't for the rib-cracking dry-heaves, I might actually be on board.

4. It's damn near impossible to teach a dog anything when there are three people responsible for his care-taking. Grandma pampers. I'm the discipinarian. And Grandpa is just confused.

5. When I have a fever over a hundred, I have the scariest dreams you could ever imagine. One I'm able to remember is me packing heat at Rocky after a school shooting perpetrated by Omar from The Wire and featuring a guest appearance from Morgan Webb from G4. She wasn't so scary, but the rest was.

6. My impatience with the process of getting into my house is starting to get taken out on the people around me. I'm apologizing now in case you're one of these unfortunate people.

7. It's much easier to be into fantasy baseball when you're in first place rather than fifth.

8. Apparently, the word fifth doesn't look right, even when I spell it right.

9. I didn't LEARN this, but I have a strong suspicion: Lying in bed for 36 hours leaves you with more aches and pains than running a marathon.

10. One way to ensure that your favorite television show of all time never ends -- don't watch the season finale. A tactic I'm currently employing with Friday Night Lights.

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