Ten Things I Learned the Week of May 20 - May 26

1. We get a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalog at my house courtesy of "Mandrew" Rockwell. No kidding. MANdrew.

2. Kristina Shiroma is a little bit sciency, and a little bit party. And a lot bit making up her own words.

3. I'm not as cynical as I sometimes believe. The Travis Hearn home build was the first time I've been inspired at work in a long time.

4. The ending of season 3 of Lost is the greatest mindfuck I have ever experienced in all of pop culture. It was so nasty, so complex, and so unbelievably well-conceived that I will forever be in awe of that show's creators. The next nine months will be agony for anyone who loves this show.

5. Everybody I work with assumes I'm love with every girl I'm pleasant to. I can say, with absolute certainty that they have been off the mark with every girl they've suspected. What part of "I have a shameless crush on Keagan Feeney" is unclear?

6. It takes more muscles to frown than it takes to smile. So happy people are just lazy.

7. I respond to all of Buzz's indiscretions like the stiff at the end of the Mentos commercials. Hands on hips, shaking my head with a smile.

8. My brother has a girlfriend. Or at least he has a girl who calls him her boyfriend.

9. I have been increasingly worthless to the people that matter the longer I've had to wait to close on my house. But fear not gentle souls, because...

10. I will close on my house at 10AM the morning of June 4th. Finally Buzz will have his own fenced in yard in which to liberally spread his bodily waste.