Alias 5.1: "Prophet Five"

Of all last season’s finales, Alias went out with the biggest bang. Sydney Bristow’s long-time love interest and short-time fiancee, Michael Vaughn confessed to leading a double life. “For starters, my name’s not Michael Vaughn” were his last words before a speeding SUV slammed into their car. Coming off a slightly less-than-average season, this was the type of shocking cliff-hanger that I didn’t believe Alias could pull off anymore. Yet there I was on my sofa with my jaw in my lap. I burst into a fit of delighted, malevolent laughter at this twisted surprise, and suddenly I couldn’t wait for season five to begin.

Then summer came. And it brought rumors. And those rumors unfortunately colored Alias’ premiere for me on Thursday night. I’ll admit I did it to myself. I didn’t have to keep track of the behind-the-scenes drama at my favorite shows, but if TV has become like heroin to me, I can’t just go cold-turkey through the summer. But that meant I would watch as each backstage nail slowly pounded its way into Alias’ coffin.

The first nail came in the form of -- you know, that metaphor’s not safe here; Jennifer Garner got knocked up by Ben Affleck. Next came news that the creators would be writing the pregnancy into the show. And finally the rumors that had dogged the show since its second season finally gained some serious steam: Michael Vaughn was going to die. Or, more to the point, the all-mighty “They” were going to “kill him off.” Considering how I felt about Alias’ premiere, the cold brutality of that phrase seems much more appropriate.

From the moment we rejoined Sydney and Vaughn in their wrecked car, something felt out of joint. I didn’t place it until this morning after an evening of contemplation, and I was saddened to find that not just one of my favorite TV characters died last night. Two did. You see, Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn no longer exist. They’ve become Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan. The characters are gone. All that’s left is a tabloid shell of two actors who fell in love, broke up, and now have to maintain their chemistry as one of them is carrying Daredevil’s seed.

Now, I admit, again, to my own blame for some of my disappointment. I was the one checking TV Guide’s website every day to see what was going on with my favorite shows. I was the one soured by the idea of writing Jennier Garner’s pregnancy into the show. I was the one who put a hit out on Ben Affleck.

Hmm? What? I mean… What?

I knew this show would feel strained when it came back. That’s what happens when outside influences affect the creative process. Writing is at its best when its fluid and organic. Shows commonly start to slip when outside concerns impede the program’s direction. As much of an admirer as I am of Alias’ creator, J.J. Abrams, I know that any writer who puts shackles on his creative process is going to produce a lesser product. And judging by the season premiere, this is a lesser product.

Watching Alias on Thursday felt a little like going to your first family reunion as a young adult. As a child you remember the good times and how everybody seemed to get along. Then there’s that one year where the seams begin to show. You start to notice the uncle who never seems to have work and is always asking for money. The aunt who’s a little loose after her fifth Crown and Coke. The drop-out cousin. The mercurial grandfather. It suddenly becomes clear; these people don’t really get along.

That’s how Alias felt on Thursday. Whether it was the writing or the performances, one of the most interesting and charismatic couples on TV suddenly had all the chemistry of the Clintons in their second term. This is an episode that contained an apparent betrayal by Vaughn, the revelation of Vaughn and Syd’s baby, and Vaughn’s shockingly brutal death, yet there was not a single genuine moment of love between them. There were plenty of scenes that had the potential for it, but they all felt forced and contrived. In fact, they tried so hard to remind us that these two characters loved each other that it looked like the raging homophobe who hates them queers because he probably is one. The harder they try to hide the truth, the more they reveal it.

And the truth was pretty clear in this episode. Michael Vartan played the entire episode with a “fuck you” standoffishness that might have fit his character, but instead felt like a middle finger to the people who precipitated his dismissal. Jennifer Garner, who has a gift for making viewers feel her grief, seemed remarkably cold and distant throughout the episode. Vaughn, in a TV version of Sonny Corleone’s demise, is machine-gunned to death at point-blank range, yet Syd’s emotions would make you think he tripped down the steps. This show revels in operatic drama. There should have been slow-motion and screaming of the obligatory “Noooooooo!” To watch the character on this show I most admire “killed off” with such blasé, casual staging -- I was a little pissed. I mean, for God’s sake they even had him uttering the horror movie no-no “I’ll be right back” before attending the fateful meeting. Alias is better than that.

But this all comes back to the death of Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. I would have thought I was being overly sensitive if it weren’t for the one moment of genuine emotion I felt during the show: the pallbearers. Weiss, Marshall, Dixon, and Jack carried Vaughn’s casket to the car, and I finally felt a sense of loss. Those four have fortunately been impervious to the backstage drama that has ruined the two leads; they are still their characters. When Jennifer Garner stares at Victor Garber, she’s still staring at Jack Brystow, not Victor Garber. God bless him, I’ll still watch this show out of loyalty, but Jack Brystow will always give me something compelling to watch. I don’t know if his facial expression has changed once during this show, but that one expression has made him the most interesting character on the show (next to the equally stoic Irena Derevko (Lena Olin)).

I’m sad this morning. This might be a painful year. I really love this show, but I think I may be broken in my capacity to enjoy it like I used to. Like the dismal Reunion, this show’s draw has fallen away from its characters. It’s now about the conspiracy-thick plot, and that’s disappointing. I know there are Alias apologists who will tell me that Vaughn will resurface somewhere during the course of this season. I agree. There was a lot of time where we see Syd and Vaughn through the hospital window without hearing what they’re talking about. I suspect his staged death was planned between the two of them. But again, that’s plot. Not character. And if these actors can’t put their baggage behind them, then it’s not going to matter. Michael Vaughn’s already dead.