Ten Can't-Miss Summer Films

In February, I couldn’t remember being this excited about a summer movie season since… hell, I don’t remember. Probably never. For a while there it looked like prime time for film entertainment would begin early, with Sin City opening the first week of April. But alas, I found the film worth seeing, but ultimately one-note and underwhelming for a young man who thought it would revolutionize the industry.

But now that we’re diving into May, the summer movie season is now within reach, and I felt it a good time to offer a list of the ten films I am most looking forward to. As these films come out, I’ll be here with a review so we can see how close my predictions are to these films’ actual worth.

10 – The Fantastic Four (July 8)

The only reason this film is on the list is for what I would call the Trainwreck Factor, because that is what I foresee for this film. With news that the script is based on the Ultimates line of comics (a modern reinterpretation) and an unproven action director (Tim Story’s last film was Barbershop), this film looks like it is set to end up on the downside of Marvel adaptations. The two most interesting characters in the franchise – The Thing and Dr. Doom – look horrible in the previews. Doom looks like something out of Power Rangers and Thing looks like a brick with down syndrome. Not to mention despite her exotic looks and sex appeal, Jessica Alba has yet to show me anything compelling as an actress. Chris Evans’ Human Torch will probably make him a movie star, because so far his is the only personality that seems to stand out. I had to put this film on the list out of curiosity, but that’s why it’s number 10.

9 – The Brothers Grimm (July 29)

I haven’t seen a single frame of this film, but I am really looking forward to it based on the concept alone. Of course it helps that Terry Gilliam (12 Monkeys) is involved. His films, even at their worse, are interesting. The story involves two mideval con-artist siblings who go from village to village convincing the townsfolk of demons threatening their well-being. They then offer their services as ghostbusters to finish off the demons for a small fee. All goes well until they reach a village that may actually have a threatening beast in their midst. Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play the Grimms, and after the Bourne and Ocean films, Damon is quickly becoming one of my favorite performers out there.

8 – Madagascar (May 27)

Another Dreamworks animation extravaganza about zoo animals who escape into the wild. Nothing much more to it that that, except penguin assassins. That was a long explanation to get to the one selling point. Penguin assassins. That’s enough for me.

7 – The Island (July 22)

This one hurts to have on my list. I hate Michael Bay with the fire of a thousand suns. Aside from The Rock (which I still have to justify enjoying) his films give me a headache while they destroy everything I like about film. Expect lots of quick cuts, egregious slow-motion, and senseless posturing. Still, Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson star, and the plot (way too complicated to try and detail here) seems intriguing enough. I’m giving Bay this one chance (mainly because I want to see Johansson as an action star), but if this one sucks I’m done with him.

6 – Mr. and Mrs. Smith (June 10)

The two most beautiful people in the world. The director of Go, Swingers, and the Bourne Identity. All that sexual tension that’s been spilled all over the tabloids. This is another film that might have a hint of the Trainwreck Factor, but I think it’s bound to be one of the most fun flicks of the summer.

5 – Bad News Bears (July 22)

Usually, I’m not a comedy guy. I usually catch a handful of comedies a year that really work for me. I think Bad News Bears is going to be one of the select few. Billy Bob Thorton plays a curmudgeonly bastard like nobody in the business (see Bad Santa), and this film is likely to be what Hardball didn’t have the, forgive the pun, balls to be. Richard Linklater, the mind behind Dazed and Confused, seems like a perfect match for this film. And with Greg Kinnear, a master of nasty smarm, playing foil to Thorton, I’m dying to see this in all of its R-rated glory.

4 – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (July 15)

Anybody who has seen this trailer has had the same reaction: WTF? Tim Burton is unhinged, brilliantly so. Johnny Depp is unhinged, brilliantly so. And they both seem to make each other MORE unhinged, brilliantly so. So even with Depp’s effeminate hair cut, pasty white skin, and abnormally large shiny white teeth, one has to think there is some sort of brilliance to be had here. Dahl’s original book has wonderfully dark undertones, and these two artists are sure to bring that to the fore. Besides, it’s Tim Burton’s Chocolate Factory. Need I say more?

3 – Batman Begins (June 15)

My reaction to this film went thusly. Heard Christopher Nolan was doing a new version of Batman, based on the comic series Batman: Year One. Happy. Heard Christian Bale was playing the Dark Knight. Interested. Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Katie Holmes, Ken Watanabe, Liam Neeson, Tom Wilkinson, and Cillian Murphy joined the cast. Tremendous. Saw the first trailer. Eh. Saw the second trailer. Boring. What are they doing. Saw the last trailer! FINALLY! THIS IS GOING TO ROCK! I don’t know what those teasers were doing, but the final trailer revealed more of the story, a look at a cracked-out Batmobile, tons of Batman iconography, a look at the Scarecrow, and some fire-breathing horse (WTF?). It is the second best trailer I’ve seen this year, next to the War of the Worlds ads. Since I’m certainly more of a Batman guy than a Superman guy, I’m very excited about the darkest of superheroes getting the treatment he deserves.

2 – War of the Worlds (June 29)

If not for 25 years of anticipation, this movie would be number one. No other film has touched a nerve with me like this one has. End of the world stories fascinate me, and this one looks like it pulls no punches. The terror on Tom Cruise’s face and Dakota Fanning’s sobbing horror punctuated by Spielberg’s startling imagery seems like this movie is headed towards a type of horror film that has never been done. This doesn’t seem cute. It doesn’t seem clever. It seems to be going straight for the jugular. I’m betting money that people walking out of this film will spend the next several days looking towards the sky. And I assure you nobody will ever see an approaching thunderstorm the same way again.

1 – The Revenge of the Sith

Duh. We knew this was going to be number one. But I have more to say about this one than this space (or the time I have before I go to work) allow. So sometime before this film debuts, I’ll give my treatise on the Star Wars franchise and its place in my development. Until then, take a look at this list and start marking your calendars. This summer has the potential to be one of the best in a very long time.